Clown.. Kryptonite has fallen on me

There's too much in my mind.. perhaps, just too much.
I wear a mask on the surface, a clown mask, all Happy, Smiley, Joker.
But beneath the mask, it is a deep world of dissapointments, anger, despair, desperation.
I wanna scream, I wanna shout, I wanna cry out loud, but the mask on the surface holds these emotions in.
The mask is labelled "Strong, Independent, positive"The contained pull and struggle between the surface and the benath makes me old.. I am tired.. but more than the physical weariness is the emotional.
Every experience wipes away sunshine from me and cracks my mask abit.
Today.. my mask is broken. I am not wearing a smile. Or even if I am wearing a smile, the darkness beneath is clearly evident.

I posted "Kryptonite has fallen on me"

Kryptonite is the only substance that can weaken Superman.
I have always tried to be a superhero, forever strong, supporting people around me etc. but Kryptonite has fallen upon me and I am now weakened. Or least to say, unable to fight this "natural element".

I am always around and holding backs because I am afraid of crying alone, facing all four walls, afraid of asking.. So, I do not want to let you all face the same phobia.